I don't even know bro Rants


Ok so before I start rambling let me just state that firstly hope the losers enjoy their LC results. Hopefully the government doesn’t ride yer holes too much. Secondly I promise I’ll be producing something of worth on this blog soon. I have some ideas I want to do so you won’t have to deal with my worthless rambling for too much longer at most one more week? Please don’t get bored. anyway onto the rambles and vague topic.

I think I lie too much. Like I lie all the time. I’ve built lies on lies on lies. Like there are people I never meet but when I do I have to keep working on a lie I built years ago. Like some of the lies are small. ye know exaggerating stories slightly for the sake of it, nothing too bad. But I do that, plus a bunch of worse stuff. Like it’s not that I even want to lie it’s just instinct. Not like I should have developed that instinct, not like i have an especially hard life. I just lied to protect the fact I wasn’t as cool as I wanted to be. at least that’s how it started out.

And it just got worse from there. Stupid little lies that when people find out they lol at, because it was a silly thing to lie about. Wonder what they’d think if they found the big lies. But that’s not the worst of it. I lie to myself constantly. Like I lie to myself so much I have doubts over if I really need reading glasses. I’ve been to the eye doctor and they’ve said I need them. But what if i’m secretly fooling everyone and even my own eyes? I mean I’ve lied about other stuff too so it’s not like it’s something I wouldn’t do. It makes me doubt my own memories cause I know psychology is wacky and all that so I probably could be misremembering stuff because I forced myself too.

And the absolutely positively worst thing? what if I’m just lying to myself so much that I think I’m lying to myself. It’s just this infinite feedback loop that makes me worse and worse and worse and worse. Well you obviously know thats how feedback loops work. It’s just this hell. That and I’m trying to figure if i got wackass shit in my head or if it’s just traits of wackass shit that I’ve picked up off of people with said wackass shit. So i’m balancing that with this great feeling that I’m a liar to everyone around me. Is that imposter syndrome? I don’t know what Imposter syndrome is and I care not to google. cause i’ll just start taking on those traits to fuck with myself. Fun aint it.

And obviously I know that I’m probably being overdramatic and shit and that I should just be quite cause I just want to feel special or cool or whatever. But eh. Thoughts? IF you have them please do tell me. either by responding to where i posted this e.g a groupchat of my friends or by email that is in my about section.

Also I made the title by smashing my head off of my keyboard.